~ Tonights Bit o’ Humor ~   1 comment

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100 Years Ago

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It May Be Hard to Believe That A Scant 100 Years Ago…
The average life expectancy in the United States was forty-seven.
Only 14 percent of the homes in the United States had a bathtub.
Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone. A three minute call from Denver to New York City cost eleven dollars.
There were only 8,000 cars in the US and only 144 miles of paved roads.
The maximum speed limit in most cities was ten mph.
Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated than California. With a mere 1.4 million residents, California was only the twenty-first most populous state in the Union.
The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower.
The average wage in the U.S. was twenty-two cents an hour. The average U.S. worker made between $200 and $400 per year.
A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, a dentist $2500 per year, a veterinarian between $1500 and $4000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5000 per year.
More than 95 percent of all births in the United States took place at home.
Ninety percent of all U.S. physicians had no college education. Instead, they attended medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press and by the government as “substandard.”
Sugar cost four cents a pound.
Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.
Coffee cost fifteen cents a pound.
Most women only washed their hair once a month and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo.
Canada passed a law prohibiting poor people from entering the country for any reason, either as travelers or immigrants.
The five leading causes of death in the U.S. were: 1. Pneumonia and influenza 2. Tuberculosis 3. Diarrhea 4. Heart disease 5. Stroke
The American flag had 45 stars. Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii and Alaska hadn’t been admitted to the Union yet.
Drive-by-shootings, in which teenage boys galloped down the street on horses and started randomly shooting at houses, carriages, or anything else that caught their fancy, were an ongoing problem in Denver and other cities in the West.
The population of Las Vegas, Nevada was thirty. The remote desert community was inhabited by only a handful of ranchers and their families.


Plutonium, insulin, and antibiotics hadn’t been discovered yet. Scotch tape, crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn’t been invented.
There was no Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
One in ten U.S. adults couldn’t read or write. Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.
Some medical authorities warned that professional seamstresses were apt to become sexually aroused by the steady rhythm, hour after hour, of the sewing machine’s foot pedals. They recommended slipping bromide, which was thought to diminish sexual desire, into the woman’s drinking water.
Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at corner drugstores. According to one pharmacist, “Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and the bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health.
Coca-Cola contained cocaine instead of caffeine.
Punch card data processing had recently been developed, and early predecessors of the modern computer were used for the first time by the government to help compile the 1900 census.
Eighteen percent of households in the United States had at least one full-time servant or domestic.

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Wrong email address:

A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.

Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.

When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

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Speed Limits

There was this car that was driving very slowly down the highway. A state trooper pulled it over.

“What did I do wrong, officer?” the driver asked.

“You were going 26 MPH on a major highway, there is a law against that. You must go at least 50 MPH.”

“But when I got onto the highway, the sign said 26!”

That is because this is Interstate 26! The 26 isn’t the speed limit!”

The driver leaned back into her car seat and the cop saw a catatonic woman sitting beside her, looking as pale as a ghost.

“What happened to her?’ the officer asked.

“I don’t know, but she has been that way ever since we got off the interstate 160.”

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P1050734

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GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY !

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******

b1[2]ab

Posted February 3, 2016 by PapaBear in Humor, Prose, Uncategorized

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~ Good Night ! ~   1 comment

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imagesCAG2FNXS

Was a terribly long and wearing day

Was a lot more work than there was play

Now looking for somewhere to rest my head

My angel said, “Just go to bed

Then she faded from my sight

And now I think I’ll say good night !

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*****

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b1[2]ab

Posted January 30, 2016 by PapaBear in Uncategorized

+ Sail wth Me +   4 comments

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Born in a land that is known as “free”

A land not what it seems to be

A land few can appreciate

Because of prejudice and hate

thAA6VQ19P

Come away and sail with me

To a land beyond an ancient sea

A place beyond the bright sunrise

Into a place called paradise.

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Running past islands both starboard and lee

Passing beautiful islands that do their part

In opening the journey’s mystery

That each will hold close to heart

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Stop at one island and spend the time

To learn its verse and to know its rhyme

Then it’s on to another beach

To understand what it has to teach

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Then up ahead, across the bow

A brilliant shoreline fills the eyes

The warm bright sun is setting now

Soft moonlight, stars rise in the skies

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‘Tis on this shore that all will find

The means to ease and calm the mind

To find a happy world made of

The wondrous joy of peace and love.

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Take the journey and find your peace

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Good Night Everybody !

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F9328r[1]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~ Simple Things ~   2 comments

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A happy smile, a quiet conversation, walking in the park holding hands, a simple ride along backroads with no destination in mind, a handwritten letter, a stolen kiss in a crowded room…, simple things, for sure, but what has happened to them?  Have they become so “dated”, or maybe “old fashioned” that they are mundane in the everyday techno world we live in now?

couple-walking-holding-hands[1]

We talk about communication, but instead of talking to each other, we email, text, tweet.  As for any type of intimate interaction, can you kiss on a smart phone, hold hands?  If we are going anywhere anymore it has to be to someplace, at a planned time, by the route on a GPS or smart phone.

In this complex world of multitasking with smart devices, phones, TV’s, computers, et.al., what has happened to simplicity?  Technology, and the stupendous number of tasks and work of which it is capable, is, in all it’s… complexity, not as beautiful as a blade of grass, a leaf from a tree, or the blossom from a rose. 

Technology has so many wonderful uses, and has made life easier for most of us, but, with all its wonders, it simply can’t replace the beauty of a sunrise…, or sunset, the warmth of a smile, the tenderness of a kiss, the happiness in a child’s laugh, and so many more simple pleasant and beautiful things that are part of the real world we must touch every day.  It’s sad that these simpler things are less appreciated and often ignored for the offerings of a techno world.

 

thQOOH8CG2

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B1

 

~ The Rest of the Story ~   1 comment

Blizzard[1]

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Now for the rest of the story…..

Day 1 didn’t define the whole trip by any means.

There was a blustery wind the whole week, but

to put things into perspective, while there were

several days in the 60s and one in the 50s, it felt

wonderful compared to the teens and nighttime

single digits that were reported back home !

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Dawn of day 2. Blue sky and SUNSHINE !!!

From there on it was a just a boring procession

of sunsets and beach fun, and as bad as it was,

I managed to suffer through all of it…, (really,

I caught a terrible cold on the 3rd day there.)

Warmer days and sunshine mitigates a lot of

misery though.  Actually it turned out to be quite

beneficial.  Hack! Cough! Sniffle! Sneeze!  That usually

cleared a table to sit, or at least a stool or two at the counter.

Gotta use the tools you have available, ya know !

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Capture

Almost a week of beautiful days, nights, and, as per usual, the annual visit

with my sweetheart.  We managed another “masterpiece” painting.

Then it was, sadly, time to pack and start for the airport, and home,

and a return to real winter again.  We were greeted the night of our

arrival in Chicago with snow, wind, and a temp of only 6 deg.

Oh, well, it’ll be over in a few months…., won’t it ?????

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Now, it’s time to settle back with a good book

and my faithful Lily cat at my feet !

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GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY !!!

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B1

~ Homecoming ~   2 comments

_full_moon_over_water[1]

Silvery moonlight wrapped itself around everything

and covered every surface.  A bright, full moon smiled

down on everything below her and painted the world

in a subliminal peace.  Like playful pixies, stars shyly

peeked from behind their heavenly blanket, then more

boldly became the gemstones of the sky.  A soft breeze

played a rhapsody in the palm fronds and the fragrance

of a thousand blossoms rose from all around.  The near

calm water at the moonlit beach shimmered like a beacon

welcoming me forward to where the sand met the surf.

Ah, finally, I was home !!!

A Run for the Sun – Day 1   3 comments

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Went south attempting to escape some of the cold Midwestern winter for a few days

Was ok, but not as warm as was expected.

*

Arrived at the beachfront “condo” to gray skies, high winds, and an angry sea.

What ever happened to “sunny Florida” ???

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Even the Pelicans were heading for cover and safe harbor.

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The Egrets and Herons were hiding beneath the piers !

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The Pelicans finally decided that there was safety in numbers.

Latecomers had to shield the “early birds” from the wind !

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Finally, after about 5pm the clouds started to break and

give way to a weak sun…, but the wind kept driving the

tide forward relentlessly.

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Around 5:30 the clouds finally decided to head east

and we were left with a weak, windy sunset.

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So much for Day 1

*****

b1[2]ab

*

 

Posted January 14, 2016 by PapaBear in Experiences, Photo, Prose, Story

Tagged with , , , , , , , ,

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