~~Irish Eyes “r” Smilin’   3 comments

I’ll be off now for a short little while
But in my wake leave ye a bit o’ a smile

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

to one and all, be ye Irish or be ye not
‘Tis a day to enjoy and be not forgot.

imagesCATRT322

“Well, Mrs. O’Connor, so you want a divorce?” the solicitor
questioned his client.
“Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge?”
“Oh, no,” replied Mrs. O’Connor. “Shure now, we have a carport.”
The solicitor tried again. “Well, does the man beat you up?”
“No, no,” said Mrs. O’Connor, looking puzzled. “Oi’m always first out of
bed.””Shure it’s because the man can’t
Still hopeful, the solicitor tried once again.
“What I’m trying to find out are what grounds you have.”
“Bless ye, sor. We live in a flat — not even a window box, let alone grounds.”
“Mrs. O’Connor,”
the solicitor said in considerable exasperation, “you need a reason that the
court can consider.
What is the reason for you seeking this divorce?”
“Ah, well now,” said the lady, “the man simply can’t
 hold an intelligent conversation.”

*********

***********

Q: What is Irish diplomacy?
A: It’s the ability to tell a man to go to hell.
in a manner that he will look forward to making the trip

*******************

Guinness[1]

Pat had been celebrating St Patrick’s Day at his local pub all day. The bartender says, “No more drinking for you tonight, Pat.”

Pat replies, “Okay, I’ll be on my way then.”  Pat climbs off his stool and falls on his face. He pulls himself up by the stool.

He takes a step towards the door and falls on his face again.  He thinks that if he can get to the door and breathe some fresh air, he’ll be fine. He crawls to the door and sticks his head out to take a deep breath of fresh air, which makes him feel better. He takes one step onto the sidewalk and falls on his face yet again. He thinks he must be really drunk.

Pat can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door and inside. He crawls upstairs to his bedroom door. He takes one step into the room and falls on his face again. He climbs into bed and falls asleep.

The next morning, his wife, brings him a cup of coffee and says, “Get up Pat. Did you have a lot to drink last night?”  Pat says, “I did. I was drunk. How did you know?”

‘The bartender called and said “You left your wheelchair at the pub.”‘

*******************

************

Good Night Everybody !

*****

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Posted March 16, 2014 by PapaBear in Humor, Personal

3 responses to “~~Irish Eyes “r” Smilin’

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  1. You left your wheelchair at the pub. – that’s got to be my favorite, haha!
    Don’t know much about St.Patrick’s day but I hope you had a great one:)

  2. Happy St Paddy’s day to you Paul!

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