Purina Diet   6 comments

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Champ, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.  What did she think, I had an elephant?  SinceI’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t,  because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50  pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.  I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to  mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care,because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle’s butt and a car hit me.  I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won’t let me shop there anymore.

(Received this from a friend in Arizona who, I think, may have actually done this.  He’s this zany)!!!


Posted January 4, 2014 by PapaBear in Uncategorized

6 responses to “Purina Diet

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  1. AnElephantCant say that he finds it funny to mock his kind.
    We have better taste.
    But you humans are just hilarious!

  2. HAHA!

  3. OMG that is the best and funniest story of the year!!!!!

  4. Oh so funny!! A friend posted this on Facebook and I actually thought it happened to her…

  5. My cousin use to eat dog biscuits…LOL You should have looked at her straight faced and said that…. “no, it;s for my elephant” 😀 Too funny!

  6. when i was little i had a friend who liked to eat dog biscuits~

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