A Christmas Memory
Otherwise known as : The Smelly Christmas Tree
(Based on a true story – Yes, this really did happen…, just this way!)
Eric’s apartment, Loomis St., Chicago
Eric, Mom, Paul, Grandma, Greg & Flopsy (the bunny)
Christmas Eve about 15 years ago
Twas the night before Christmas
And, oh, what a stink
Many were nauseous
Some bent over the sink.
The stockings were hung out the window to air
And later that night Eric’s shoes joined them there.
Flopsy looked for a clothes pin,
Her nose twitching like crazy
As the air around us
Was growing more hazy.
Mom and Paul were nestled all snug in their beds
White visions of limburger cheese danced in their heads.
With Nana, her kerchief covering her nose
And Greg seeking relief by smelling his toes.
When Eric arose and caused such a clatter
He said, “enough is enough, we’re ending this matter”
He sprang from the futon and got down on his knee
And took a final whiff of the putrid tree.
He dragged it through the door and down to the curb
Where he and Greg examined it “Eureka!!! A dogturd!”
At last the problem was solved
And all could breathe right
So Merry Christmas to all
And to all a good night.
(With aplogies to Clement C Moore)